


Sanity

by amberxwrites



Series: Hollyoaks Oneshots [2]
Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: M/M, Non Canon Ship, Rewritten Scene, Suicide Attempt, dyle should've been canon, i miss kyle, i really dislike mandy, i ship them more than anything, i wish they were in love, kyle has secret feelings for darren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:54:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27617954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amberxwrites/pseuds/amberxwrites
Summary: A rewritten version of Darren's suicide attempt.
Relationships: Darren Osborne/Nancy Osborne, Kyle Kelly/Darren Osborne, Kyle Kelly/Nancy Osborne, Mandy Hutchinson/Darren Osborne, Mandy Richardson/Darren Osborne
Series: Hollyoaks Oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019205
Kudos: 4





	Sanity

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I really ship these two together and I wish it was canon.

Looking down at the practically empty street below, I felt nothing.

Nothing at all.

I thought I'd feel at least a bit guilty over what I was planning to do, but no. I felt nothing.

That was how I knew I was making the right decision. If I didn't want to go through with it, I'd surely be having second thoughts. But this felt right. I didn't even know how I had ended up on the rooftop of some random building, but I didn't really care. All I cared about was ending the misery.

One step closer to the edge.

I pulled down my hood, running my fingers through my matted brown hair as I thought over how I would do it. Was I just going to jump? Who would find me? A stranger? A friend? My dad? There's no way they'd be looking for me out here. They thought I was at a bar somewhere, getting drunk and screwing up like always. But for once in my life, I was doing something right. This is what everyone wanted, what everyone needed - a life without Darren Osborne in it.

Another step closer.

My heart was racing and doubts clouded my mind. Was this the right way to deal with the pain? I pictured the kids faces when Mandy broke the news, the heartbroken tears falling down their little cheeks. The confused look on their faces when they find out that Daddy wouldn't be coming home that night. Or ever again for that matter. What kind of father was I? I was willing to put my children through that pain just so I didn't have to deal with it anymore.

One step closer left me right on the edge.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to convince myself this was my only option. I couldn't go on like this. I didn't have energy to fake a smile anymore. It hurt lying to the people I loved, but I couldn't tell them the truth. They wouldn't understand. So this was the only way.

I was shaking so hard that I almost fell off the edge, my body feeling light as a feather as my mind suddenly went dizzy. That was the moment I realised what I was feeling.

Fear.

I was scared. Scared of myself and how damaged I was. Scared of the situation and how close I actually was to ending it. Scared of how high up I was. Scared of death. Scared of letting go. Scared of leaving everyone I loved behind. I was scared of myself.

But my dad always told me to face my fears with a brave face and a heavy heart. So I took that final step.

"No!"

I was pulled back by a pair of strong arms wrapping around my waist, dragging me away from freedom.

"I won't let you do it Darren. I won't let you give up."

I recognised the voice to be Kyle's. How did he find me?

"What are you doing here Kyle?" I croaked, pushing his arms away from me.

"Stopping you from making the biggest mistake of your life. You really think this is the answer?"

"It's better than painting on a smile everyday and pretending to be fine." I cried, my hands shaking so much I couldn't even wipe my eyes properly. More tears spilled out and I couldn't hold it back anymore.

"Mandy showed me a video of DJ's first steps.... and I felt nothing. Nothing at all. That should've been the proudest moment of my life, watching my son achieve something so amazing. But I just felt empty. Dead inside."

"Please don't give up." He whispered, choking on a sob. I hadn't realised how hard it was for him to see me like this. Considering ending my life. I didn't think he cared that much.

"Why are you even here? Why do you care?" I shouted, not sure why I was lashing out at the only person who could even begin to understand the mess in my head.

"Because you're my best friend and I hate seeing you in so much pain!" He spoke, staring right at me whilst I averted my gaze to the ground. "I know neither of us expected to ever be this close, but I feel like I know you better than anyone else does. You're the only person I trust and the only person I can talk to so please don't leave me."

I stepped towards him, throwing my arms around his neck. He held me tight as I broke down, violent sobs escaping my lips as it finally hit me just how close I had come to letting go. I was seconds away from death and that thought alone frightened me to my very core.

"I'm so sorry." I cried.

"Don't say that. You've got nothing to be sorry for. For now on, I'm going to be there for you no matter what. I'll never let you get to this point again. I can't lose you Darren."

"Thank you." I whispered, still not entirely sure why he cared about his fiancées ex husband enough to save my life. But no matter how confusing our friendship was, I wasn't planning on letting him go anytime soon.

He made me feel less abnormal, reminding me that I wasn't alone and that there was other people going through the exact same things that I was.

I loved my family, my job, and my friends so much. But no matter how crazy life got, Kyle was the one who kept me sane.

And all I needed right now was a bit of sanity.

**Author's Note:**

> Credits to Hollyoaks for any dialogue I used that was actually on the show.


End file.
